Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Randomize
