Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
i came on her dog
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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