even my farts smell like vagina
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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