dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Welp...herpes.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
