well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
