AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
