If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Randomize
