She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
