and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
