woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Randomize