Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
