Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
