and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
