Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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