I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
