pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
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