Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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