im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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