On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Randomize
