the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
