sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
