There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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