Quick, to the slutcave!
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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