Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Randomize
