he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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