I'm jealous of your bromance
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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