Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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