Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Plan B is the new Plan A
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
