I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
