Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
lol hangovers are for mortals.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Randomize