Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
