I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Boobs are out for the taking
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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