He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
