i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
