ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Pants are for mortals
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
