Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
I love having hate sex.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
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