great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Randomize
