He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
