WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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