So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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