I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
