Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Randomize
