The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
