Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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