ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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