fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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