i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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