he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
