So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
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