Only a mothe r could love this liver
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize