"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
