She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
