Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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