38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
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