did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Randomize
