You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
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