So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I'm bleeding and have questions
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
