My brain says no but my pants say off.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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